Oh my god, I can’t stop laughing! I need to control myself. My stomach hurts! Okay, okay, I think I’m calming down. There are literal TEARS streaming down my face. This week I’ll be Reviewing Boyfriend’s Obsession, a.k.a., HAHAHAHAHAHAHA They’re Joking Right?!?! HAHAHA!! MV. He has a hook! A hook for a hand!! Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s take a breather. I’m snorting, it’s bad, so, so bad.
Forgettable. I prefer Janus (Bat Girl). Or as my other best friend thought it was called, Back Girl. He doesn’t listen to K-Pop so he just automatically assumed it was a progressive song about refusing to adopt an unconventional sexual position. (No, I am not making this up.) You’re not a back girl, yeah, yeah! I laughed very, very hard at that, but not as hard as I laughed at this MV.
The MV Plot + Execution
DEAR LORD, someone needs to get fired over this (I know I say this a lot, but this person is a monster and needs to be stopped). I don’t even know where to begin. This MV was so bad it inspired an entire post called Things That Need To Be Retired From K-Pop MVs because it contained so many cliches. But honestly, this was one hilarious mess that I enjoyed and will be talking about for years. There’s a plot somewhere, it’s just that my tiny, narrow mind can’t possibly grasp it’s artistic, intricate subtext. As my best friend put it, the Boyfriends (that’s how I will refer to them from now on, it really flows) have taken over B1a4′s “secret hideout” and made it disgustingly hipster/gangster. They went and bought themselves some of those washable tattoos, discount skateboards, and second-hand clothes from a particularly dark fashion period in Taeyang’s career, and then filmed this thing. They tried to pull a (Beast) Fiction, throwing books around and trying to make a parallel connection to a fairytale, but it was so vague and disjointed that any T-ARA video makes more sense. The only thing I’m certain of is that there’s this shadowy bad guy who is possessive over the female lead and that I find only one of the twins attractive (which is weird…because they’re identical).
At the end of the MV, the boys have grown bored with playing billiards and performing elementary school science experiments, and decide to plant a bomb in their brightly lit dance room. Here, they find the love interest and are immediately drawn to her. Then shadowy guy takes the girl hostage and places the totally real bomb against her chest. Then she blows up dramatically after he throws her away for totally specified reasons.
When she blew up, I started laughing uncontrollably. What a wonderfully contained explosion. That explosion made JYJ’s Ayyy Girl look like a cinematographic masterpiece. Then comes the most majestic ending I have ever seen: one of the band members (I only know the twins’ names and I don’t care to look any of the other members up) seems to have lost his hand in the explosion and places a very menacing looking hook over his severed forearm. I need a moment….how on EARTH was this sold to the company? What was this creative team smoking? Oh god! No takebacks! This is published for the world to see. I’m sorry, but if you’re a Boyfriend fan and you like this, I’m praying for you.
Somewhere in Korea, Gyuri just woke up from a nightmare because someone with more incredible acting skills than her is finally reaching his full potential.
No seriously, these poor guys…